Don’t Panic, Lubbock. This Strange Discharge From The Sky Is Called “Rain”.
It seems like we are due for a good old-fashioned freak-out here in the Hub City, and all of the ingredients are coming together to create a sense of panic and confusion among Lubbockites (Lubbockers? Lubbockians? Hub City Hustlas?)
This is Rain. It's what happens when it gets too hot for snow and too wet for dust. When you see this on your windshield, it's time to use the "wiper" setting on your car. Yes, your car DOES have one. They all do. It makes crops grow, and people drive like morons. That's verified. Rain should have a blue check in Social Media.
Over the next couple of days, we will FINALLY start to see a typical summer pattern around here, with chances of showers to cool us off after a streak of over 6 years of 100 degree plus temperatures (fact-check needed). So, what happens in Lubbock when that devil rain appears?
Panic. Sheer unadulterated panic.
We may see lawns start to green up for a few days, and farmers breathe a wary sigh of relief over the fact that their fields will finally get some manna from heaven. The negative to all of this, is that Lubbock drivers absolutely forget any and all common sense when moisture hits the pavement. Plus, if we get a good soaker, the roads will inevitably turn into class 4 rapids, only navigable by experienced kayakers who were trained deep in the Grand Canyon by Shaolin Monks. So, in other words...stay indoors, socially distance and watch the skies dump their heavenly bounty all over the landscape.
Because, y'all suck on the roads when it rains. Don't @ me.