A very good friend asked A.I. to write an overview of his town. It was very nice...and boring.

I decided to go the other route and asked ChatGPT to "Roast The City Of Lubbock, Texas". I had asked Chat GPT before to do something that wasn't so kind and it responded by telling me that what I was asking of it wasn't so kind (yup, it figured that out very quickly!). Imagine my surprise when it generated a takedown of Lubbock, that is mostly accurate.

Wes Nessman
Wes Nessman

You may not like what you're about to read, but remember that Chat GPT is just fetching what's out there and distilling it into something new. I think the whole paragraph about cuisine is off (we do like it spicy here) but as far as the standard Lubbock complaints ChatGPT touches on all of them. So without further ado here is an "Epic A.I. Roast Of Lubbock, Texas".

Lubbock, Texas, the city where tumbleweeds aspire to be something more. It's a place where the wind isn't just a weather condition, but a force of nature that's determined to blow away any hopes of finding excitement. If you're looking for a vibrant nightlife, prepare to be disappointed, because Lubbock's idea of a party is a quiet evening at home with a dust storm as your dance partner.


The local cuisine might leave you wondering if "spices" and "flavor" are banned words in the city. It's as if the culinary scene decided to take a siesta, leaving you with the choice between bland and blander. The only thing that spreads faster than the Texas heat is the realization that Lubbock might not be the culinary capital of the world.


And let's not forget the charm of the landscape – flat, flatter, and flattest. Lubbock is so flat that if you stand on your tiptoes, you might catch a glimpse of something interesting happening in the next county. The city skyline is basically a collection of water towers and the occasional windmill, just in case you forget that the wind is the true ruler of this domain.


But hey, if you enjoy the simple pleasures of life, like dust storms, wind gusts that could sweep you off your feet, and a nightlife that's more yawn-inducing than thrilling, then Lubbock might just be your kind of place.

So what's missing from this roast? Hmmmm...how about this:

*In Lubbock they had to bolt the Buddy Holly Statue down so it didn't walk to a better town.

Okay, so yes, all it was missing was a Buddy Holly joke to make the roast complete. Again, I thought all of the remarks about cuisine were off base but by including them in the roast it makes the whole thing sting a little less. In short, our robot friends think Lubbock can be described in three words: windy, boring, and flat.

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