The Midnight Writer is a freelance writer and contributor to popular websites and magazines. He's written three humor books and often writes while under the influence. Under the influence of what, he will not say.
The Midnight Writer

Erin Andrews & Charissa Thompson of Fox Sports 1 Are Our First Ever ‘Double Celeb Crushes’
In case you're unaware, or don't care about sports, Fox Sport 1 launched last week.

12 Bulls**t Lines People Use During Break-ups — And What They Actually Mean
Yesterday, I overheard one dude-bro discussing with another dude-bro his flatlining relationship and the correct procedure to "dump the nut job."
![Why Buzzer Beaters Suck [Half a Man]](http://townsquare.media/site/390/files/2013/03/Screen-shot-2013-03-05-at-9.21.43-AM.png?w=980&q=75)
Why Buzzer Beaters Suck [Half a Man]
The ability to shoot video on anything -- smart phones, wristwatches and specially marked cans of Mr. Pibb -- has brought a litany of otherwise unseeable sports moments to the world.

Does this Russian Mail Order Bride Look Like Kate Upton?
Meet Ania, a beautiful young girl who splits her time between Vancouver (not that Vancouver) and Moscow.

Jonathan Papelbon — Phillies ‘Lack Leadership’
Jonathan Papelbon came over to the Philadelphia Phillies from a Red Sox team that, at the time, probably had more leaders than actual soldiers. In his time with Philly, Papelbon has been waiting for one of the Phillies to step up and take a vocal role...

Father Uses Hot Daughter to Sell 1977 Datsun on eBay
It's no secret that sex sells. It's just kind of creepy that a dad would use his sexy daughter to sell a 1977 Datsun -- but it worked.
Kim Ridley (that's the dad) used his 20-year-old daughter Lexxa to model in front of his bright yellow Datsun and put the car up for sale on eBay...

5 Places to Meet Women During Your Lunch Break
Talking to women is easy (for most of us) but actually figuring out where they all hang out can sometimes prove to be the difficult part. We’re not talking about nighttime or weekends, that's easy; where are the women during working hours? After all...

20 Slang Terms From the 1920s That Guys Should Start Using Again
The Oxford American Dictionaries announced its "Word of the Year" yesterday, and it's about as dumb as you'd imagine.

Because We Haven’t Talked About Her in Months, Here’s a Post About Kate Upton
A few months ago, Kate Upton was all the world could talk about. This website included.