So, we had a visitor from the mysterious east this past week...

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After our good friends in Billings Montana first discovered a strange object floating in the sky, the gub'mint finally came clean and confirmed that they were tracking a Chinese Spy Balloon, that had been gathering intelligence  floating harmlessly for several days. Finally, they did the right thing, and shot that sucker down over the Atlantic Ocean...near Myrtle Beach, South Carolina...long after it had already done it's job and sent back all the data it could to it's homeland.

However, you gotta give Myrtle Beach some props for having a sense of humor about it.

Even though the balloon never made it's way towards Texas, that got us thinking about what the Chinese Spy Balloon might have seen had it passed over the LBK. Of course, it would have probably seen a couple of cowboys aiming a .30-06 skyward to try and take it down, but we digress. With that, we present 6 possible locations that the CCP might have wanted to check out if they had flown over West Texas.

PRAIRIE DOG TOWN

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We can see why Prairie Dog Town would be of interest, as all those holes could look like missile silos from a distance. However, our long range rodent launchers are not as effective at that altitude.

NIGHTMARE ON 19TH STREET

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From the air, our visitors from the Mystic East might think this is a post-apocalyptic training center for urban warfare. Well, because it is.

JONES AT&T STADIUM

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There's never been a better occasion for Red Raider football fans to get their Guns Up, than if this thing floated overhead. Just say it's a TCU scout balloon, and that sucker would be down in 10 minutes.

THE ARTIST FORMERLY KNOWN AS JOYLAND

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You know, we had jokes for this one...but it's still too painful. Let's move on.

THE BUDDY HOLLY STATUE AND CENTER

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Even communist hard-liners have to have some appreciation for great rock and roll. However, the outline of Buddy's glasses in the crosswalk might cause the Chinese to think that we are spying on THEM. Maybe, baby.

BUFFALO SPRINGS LAKE

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From the air, it looks so serene, but once spy teams take a peek through their high -powered lens at Buffalo Springs Lake on a hot summer weekend, the views they may get could be eye-popping.

So, obviously, the spy balloon would have had plenty to see had it headed in this direction. Next time they send one, if it floats over Lubbock, we should all moon it.

 

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