How To Become Rich and Famous in Lubbock, Texas

Nobody seems to teach this in school...

If you study enough successful folk around town, a pattern begins to emerge.

Here's a totally official unofficial guide on how to become rich and famous in Lubbock:

Start A Business Nobody Else Wants To Do

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It doesn't matter what you choose; they'll all lead you to the pot of gold.

Concrete.

HVAC.

Roofing.

Hauling junk.

Septic systems.

Fencing.

Dog poo scooping.

While everyone else in town is trying to become an influencer, someone cleaning out septic tanks is quietly becoming a millionaire. Summer time is a great time to try your luck with a lawn care business. All you need is a couple of mowers, some hardworking friends, and a dream.

Own A Trailer

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Not the kind you live in, but the kind you pull.

Every well-off person in West Texas owns at least three trailers and uses them almost daily. And, when you aren't using one, you can always rent it to someone else. Make extra cash without lifting a finger.

Know Everybody In Town By Their First Name

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Make it a point to introduce yourself to everyone so that you can walk into a place and say, "Good morning, Randy!" and, "How's it going, Susan?" It gives you that extra little bit of street cred when you really need it.

Read More: Lubbock's Oldest, Still Serving Restaurants

Buy Land Before Anyone Thinks It's Valuable

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Maybe it's just a field right now, but if you squint, you can see a shopping mall, a Burger King, and a Denny's.

Land = Money, dudes.

Drive A Vehicle That Looks Like It's Been Through Three Wars

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Spoiler alert: Rich people are NOT driving around in flashy cars and fancy outfits. You're more likely to see them in an old, worn-out pair of Reeboks and a beat-up truck from 1999. Maybe even a used Toyota Camry.

Get Mentioned Constantly On Facebook

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That's celebrity status, isn't it? Being constantly mentioned in groups?

Good or bad, it might help grow your audience.

Sponsor Absolutely Everything

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Little League, church raffles, cat beauty pageants. All of it. Get your name out there by sponsoring every single thing that comes through town.

So, Basically...

If you want to be rich and famous around these parts, you need to know about 500 people by their first name, own a travel trailer, dress like a poor person, and drive a car that looks like it's on deaths door. If you're already doing all of these things, then congratulations! You're already richer and more famous than you realize!