CDC May Advise Mosquitos Wear Masks As West Nile Virus Hits 5 States

So yeah...something ELSE that is going to kill us. Great. Time to call it a day.

The $200 Jeopardy Question in "Things That We Have To Panic Over", involves a virus that once swept the headlines as a potential life changer, right up until someone decided to undercook the bat soup in Wuhan.......allegedly.

The CDC (who I would think has better things to do) is now publishing more straight up fear-porn by alerting the nation that West Nile Virus is back, and has affected humans in 4 states thus far.

CDC.gov

That settles it. Close the damn schools.

As you can see, Texas is in the light green, which means that West Nile has been detected in non-humans. I have no punchline for that one, the jokes really do write themselves, sometimes. I was going to say something about Jerry Jones, but nahhh.

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In neighboring Arkansas, the skeeters have gone on and bit Ol' Cletus, and given him the West Nile. Now, if I were Cletus, I'd be a bit worried about the symptoms of West Nile Infection. Such as:

High Fever

Headache

Neck Stiffness

Stupor

Disorientation

Paralysis

If you have these symptoms, you may have West Nile Virus. Or, you'd be Joe Biden........too soon?

The good news is that in 8 out of 10 cases, there are absolutely no symptoms to speak of. Hmmm, kinda like Covid, and yet....we shut down the whole planet over that. Due to the fact that we MUST KEEP PEOPLE SAFE, I am proposing several options.

First, CLOSE THE BORDERS. We've already discussed at length why we need a border wall between Texas and New Mexico, so we need to take this one step further. If a mosquito can't get into Texas, then it can't spread West Nile.

Second, DRAIN THE PLAYA LAKES. Don't give Mosquitos a place to have wanton sex and make babies.

Third, EVERYONE MUST WEAR A PERSONAL MOSQUITO NET. It worked with masks...AMIRITE?

Fourth, MANDATORY FACE MASKS FOR MOSQUITOS. If they wear little tiny face coverings, then they can't spread the disease. They must be mandated. See? Covid Logic.

Finally, SOCIAL DISTANCING. You must remain 6 feet from a mosquito at all times, or you'll be asked to leave.

If we all work together, we can stop the spread. Or else, you're gonna die.

Do your job, Fauci.

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Filed Under: COVID, Face masks, west nile virus

Categories: Lubbock News